For those of you who are not familiar with this common condition - entitle-itis is when we feel that someone owes us something, and we take action in our life based on this belief. Most folks believe they don't suffer from this condition; however, anyone with an ego can exhibit symptoms of this dreaded disease!
Entitle-itis occurs when we are so centered within our own dream of life that we cannot see what is happing in someone else's life. Often we ask for favors from others without considering first what effect our request might have on them. We only know that we need something and we are going to get what we need in the moment. However, this is ego expressing itself, as we are not necessarily being thoughtful of others.
It is amazing how many people exhibit this condition in reference to their parents. Often we feel that our parents should behave the way we want them to and/or be available for baby-sitting or whatever we want. Or we expect our family to bale us out of every unpleasant situation we get ourselves into or give us money. Others feel their parents owe them an inheritance or that because their parents were unkind to them in their childhood (from their point of view of course) that their parents should have to pay for the error of their ways for the rest of their lives. I often observe people who are snippy and cutting whenever they can be as a way to get back at their parents. Truthfully, most folks don't even hear themselves speaking like this because they have no awareness of what they are doing or why. But when others witness you in action, you may get asked: Why do you talk to your parents like that?
Another example of entitle-itis takes place within relationships. For example, when we expect that our partner should know what we want or need, or that they should be there to please us or make us happy. Perhaps we expect that we be entitled to sex, a clean house or a daily meal. Maybe we feel that our partner should want to do the things that we want to do, go to the parties and social events that we enjoy, or even have the same opinions about things that we do.
Another example of entitle-itis that I come across relates to my websites. Many people will email me to ask questions about information that is clearly displayed on my website. Why? Well because it is easier for them to email me than to take the time to look the information up themselves. Often folks get upset with me because they cannot open the newsletter, audio file or a download. But the truth is they have not taken the time to understand how their computer works and are projecting their frustration and impatience out on me. We do this same thing in our lives when we interrupt others to ask them where something is when we could have taken a minute to try to find it ourselves.
There are so many examples of entitle-it is--the list is endless. The key is awareness. As students of spirituality, it is up to us to take responsibility for our behavior and to stop this dreaded disease in its tracks. Here are a few helpful things to help keep your ego in check:
Understand first and foremost that no one owes you anything!
When you ask someone for something, ask yourself first if you really need their assistance or are you being lazy?
Just because you have not taken the time to figure something out, it does not mean that others should take away from their time to teach you.
Be aware of how you feel when you do not get what you want, and take responsibility for your unmet expectations rather than projecting your irritations outward onto others.
I encourage you all to invest in yourselves and do your best to become intelligent participants in life. This requires us to be responsible for ourselves and not to depend on others or feel like they owe us. Only a victim of life behaves this way. Of course you can ask for help if you need it, but ask without expectations, and if you don't get what you feel you need, then ask someone else without projecting your anger. If you do this, you will notice that people want to do things for you and your needs will always be met with love and grace. But this can only happen once you are generous and are no longer operating from your needy ego.
Dr. Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and the author of 