Leap Year, Election Year, The Olympics, and Other 4-Year Cycles:What Does This Have to Do with Life?
So, I've been thinking what to write about for this month's e-Newsletter and, frankly, I was drawing blanks. Then I remembered that this year is a Leap Year--every four years we add a day to our annual calendar: February 29th. I marveled for a few moments about how somebody figured out we needed to add a full day every four years to balance out our clocking of time. Amazing if you think about it. Then I started to think about the number 4. Here we are in the U.S. about to have a presidential election--every four years. The Summer Olympics--gearing up in China--happens every four years. My brother, Sam, is about to celebrate his 4-year anniversary in Gamblers Anonymous on March 9th. The Chinese New Year--the Year of the Rat--fell in the 8th year (2008) which is 2 x 4. Okay, now I'm stretching it. Speaking of the Chinese, I have heard their culture considers the number 4 to represent "bad luck" or "death" whereas the number 8--as many cultures also believe--represents "good luck" and "prosperity."
As spring approaches--yes, those of us who actually experience real winter do take note with anticipation--I can already hear the strains of violins in Vivaldi's "Rite of Spring" suite from "The Four Seasons." And, of course, there's St. Patrick's Day which ushers in not only gallons of green beer but those ubiquitous "four-leaf clovers."
Okay, I'm no numerologist but there must be some connection worth exploring here. What does the number 4 mean to you?
For me, I'm just increasingly aware that this is an auspicious time to be alive. A lot is going on in the world and, undoubtedly, in our own lives. I have this feeling like everything is beginning to come together just as it sometimes seems like everything is about to fall apart. On the one hand, there's our faltering economy, global warming, the war in Iraq, the uneasy anticipation of another terrorist attack. On the other hand, there's the hope of a new politics with the running of a woman and a bi-racial man, the awe of human technology in U.S. military shooting down a dying satellite within a 10-second window of opportunity, and that brilliant lunar eclipse a week or so ago. Maybe I'm spooking myself but sometimes I hear theme music from "The Twilight Zone" ringing in my ear. Oh, and don't forget to sign up for Oprah and Eckhart Tolle's free 10-week live international "web-class" based on Tolle's new book "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" beginning Monday March 3rd at 9pm EST! Go to www.oprah.com
And then I allow myself to stroll back to my life 4 years ago. Where were you 4 years ago? What was going on in your life? It was early 2004. It was an exciting time--full of hope and promise and, more than a tinge of fear. I had just left published my first book--"Something for Nothing"--several months earlier. I began 2004 finally fully self-employed after having left a counseling clinic where I'd worked since 1997. And I had just gotten a phone call from a producer from the Oprah Winfrey Show expressing interest in producing a fall show about shoplifting. (That show eventually was produced and aired in September 2004 and helped my business really take-off).
At the same time, my brother Sam--who was 23--had just completed a one-week stint in The Shulman Center inpatient program: my wife and I let him sleep in our guest room on the sofa couch while he gathered the pieces of his life after a traumatic break-up and after bottoming out from a 7-year gambling addiction. We gave him the "tough love" medicine: "We love you, we care about you, you've got one week to stay here and collect yourself but then you're out on your own. We strongly encourage you to get back in counseling and go back to Gamblers Anonymous."
My brother, through hard work and by grace, quickly starting gaining traction on a new path. Remarkably, within one year, he not only got sober and took responsibility for his life--a real sign of maturing--but he stumbled back into his love of music and made a brave decision not to go to law school but, rather, to move to the Los Angeles area to pursue a career in music--the business side of it. I had a few reservations about him leaving. He had done some research and planted some seeds but it still like a "leap of faith" and "a wing and a prayer."
To Sam's credit, he connected with Gamblers Anonymous in L.A./Santa Monica and landed an interview with Interscope Records for an unpaid 6-month internship position. He quickly grooved to this and, despite some ups and downs, completed the internship and began a second unpaid internship there while hoping something for pay would open up. He then found out he could register with the local temp agency and actually get paid for his work and, about a year ago, he was hired at Interscope as a "full-time temp" during a time where many other regular employees were getting pink-slipped as the music industry has struggled to stay viable. He was fortunate to begin working directly with and mentoring under a gentleman who has some 30 years in the business.
Sam's enjoying every minute of learning and being challenged. He was excited and I was proud when he recently received his first "credit" on a recording: "B.B. King Live" just released a few weeks ago. Sam, congratulations on 4 years of recovery and 4 years of incredible growth and accomplishments!
So what does the number 4 have to do with recovery? It's like the four seasons. We take a "fall" or bottom out. Then we seem to enter a winter (of discontent or dark night of the soul). Then we plant some seeds and tend to them and wait for them to bloom in spring. And then, hopefully, we get to bask in the summer sun of our fuller awareness and successes. I don't know if this cycle always takes 4 years or if we're always up in summer or down in winter but it's worth thinking about. It's also worth remembering that--like the economy or our own lives--there are ups and downs and cycles of birth and death and renewal and change.
Another way I feel this relates to recovery is to remember: things take time. So, when I'm impatient about my business, or my marriage, or anything else, I need to remind myself to slow down. I can wonder: is there a cycle? Everything in time. It remains a mystery what prompts one person to stay stuck, stay safe--and what prompts another to step off the dime. I continue to look at my own life in this manner.
It was about 4 years ago that my weight and my cholesterol began creeping up. It basically took me nearly 4 years to come out of denial and really take this situation seriously. I kept thinking it was a fluke, or it would magically go away. Then, when it didn't, I made minor adjustments in my diet and "tried" to get a little more exercise. Then, about a year ago, I began a regular exercise program (4-5 days a week at the health club). But my weight and cholesterol only came down a bit. Then, six months ago, I adjusted my diet slightly, increased my exercise to 5-6 days a week, starting eating oatmeal every morning, and began taking supplements. When I found out two months ago that my cholesterol had jumped 29 points, I was dumbfounded.
I finally succumbed to taking medication to help lower it. But I haven't stopped there. About a week ago I began a 2-week body cleanse with supplements and started the Life Force Plan which is a 4 month food plan designed to kill Candida in the body that interferes with all kinds of functioning including processing of cholesterol and weight loss. It's really intended to be followed--to a less strict degree--beyond 4 months as a "lifestyle" more than a "diet." See www.lifeforceplan.com
After a challenging first few days of cleansing and "life-forcing" (I was totally "jonesing" for chips and sweets!), I have lost 7 pounds and feel pretty lean, clean, and energized. I am hoping to stay on this plan for some time to come. I never thought I'd have to be in "recovery" from bad eating and exercise patterns--I guess the consequences finally caught up with me. Now, I am learning to accept the reality. I only hope that when I go back to my doctor in April that my cholesterol really has dropped. I want to see if I can stay off meds if I really stick to a health lifestyle. I recognize, however, my heredity plays a part. I'm just not sure how much. Wish me luck and stay tuned... All 4 One and One 4 All!
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Terrence Daryl Shulman , is a Detroit area therapist, attorney, author, and consultant. He is the founder and Director of The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft & Spending. He is the author of “Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic… New Perspectives, New Solutions” (2005) and “Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery” (2003). He is publishing a book in early 2008 tentatively titled “How Much Is Enough? Compulsive Shopping & Spending and Money Dysfunctions… From Insanity to Freedom.” Mr. Shulman can be reached at terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com or 248-358-8508. His websites include www.theshulmancenter.com and www.shopaholicsanonymous.org. Mr. Shulman does counseling and consulting locally and by phone.
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