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Are you ready to restore confidence, become more alive and believe in yourself? Some people confuse arrogance with confidence. People who are confident are more open and flexible. They are sure of themselves, their defenses are down, and they know how to proceed. When somebody doesn't agree with them, they ask questions instead of rejecting the ideas immediately. For example, a question would be "How does it work?" Someone with low self-confidence would say "No, this is the way it is."
As a coach, I have the opportunity to work with many people. It is very easy to spot lack of confidence. Here is a story about a woman with low self-esteem and low confidence that turned her life around.
At work, she felt that she wasn't given any opportunity to advance. She had been at her job for a few years and a promotion came up in her department. She applied for it, but didn't get it; someone else did. She was very upset. She said, "I've been there longer, I should have gotten that promotion." When I asked more questions, she realized that she doubted herself too much. She also was one of those people that are the first to spread bad news about co-workers. For example, "Did you hear what so-and-so did?" When I asked her, "What does this behavior do for you?" she thought about it and replied, "I'm not sure. "I asked, "Can you imagine yourself with confidence? How would you see yourself? How would you communicate? Would people value you more?" Without pausing, she had the typical reaction and said "I am confident." My reply was, "I know you are confident in many ways, the question is, are you in touch with your confidence all the time? We have over 200 emotions available and most people choose to use the negative emotions instead of the positive ones. They seem to take priority over the positive emotions. Very rarely do people use curiosity, happiness, understanding and calmness, etc." She made the connection and said, "I'm confident when I am at home with my family. At work I feel inadequate." It was obvious that to compensate for her inadequacy, she came across harsh and gossipy. That got in the way of her promotion.
I asked her to look at situations where she was confident (baking, cooking, walking, etc.). Once she picked one, I asked her to associate with that feeling by taking a deep breath. She felt so much better. I suggested that she could repeat this process every time that she does something that she feels good about until confidence becomes a way of life. A few months later she reported that she was much happier and more comfortable at work. She said with a laugh, "I don't know if I'm changing or if people are just friendlier at work."
Anna Russo Article by Anna Russo owner of Success Strategies. She is a Life Coach, NLP Master Trainer, and recently wrote the book, Connecting With Resistant Teenagers, 10 Proven Steps. Success Strategies is dedicated to helping people solve personal and professional problems with communication programs, self-esteem and life strategies. To contact Success Strategies call 248-528-0752 or visit www.successstrategiesnlp.com
Anna Russo Article by Anna Russo owner of Success Strategies. She is a Life Coach, NLP Master Trainer, and recently wrote the book, Connecting With Resistant Teenagers, 10 Proven Steps. 